why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
