Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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