I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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