he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
