Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can I color on your dick again?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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