First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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