"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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