either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
