well you can't waste a boner
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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