what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
A+ Viking dick
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
