I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
