Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
