Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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