Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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