I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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