I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
