Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
