i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
