Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
