They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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