I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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