How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
