i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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