my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
