Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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