Whod you bang
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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