it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think your dad took our porno
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
