I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Randomize
