he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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