I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I looked at my own cervix.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
