Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She's the barista slut.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
