Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
