oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
