I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
