My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
