I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
zippers are such a cool invention
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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