Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
