don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
