Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i love accidental penises.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
