I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
