I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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