Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
