I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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