If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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