How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
