i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
