It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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