Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
