my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
