break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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