wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
