You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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