$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
