am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
